Film Review: Hope Springs

While their marriage has made it to a 31st anniversary, Kay (Meryl Streep being frumpy) and Arnold (Tommy Lee Jones being Neanderthal) have been sleeping in separate bedrooms for some years. We see the rut that has become their lives, as Kay decides she needs nooky back in her life. She dolls herself up in makeup and negligee, but Arnold rejects her with a grumpy grunt or two. Kay breaks out of her disconcertingly passive wifey pattern and signs them up for an intensive therapeutic week in Maine with Dr Bernard Feld (Steve Carell in the blandest role he probably hopes he will ever have to play) in the town of Hope Springs.

Arnold resists, resists, resists. Kay suffers, suffers, suffers. There’s a bit of hope, but no, it ain’t gonna happen. But wait, big break-through (we’re talking on the level of actually sleeping in the same bed together), but no, it’s still not gonna happen. In the end, of course, everyone lives happily ever after.

One wonders how Kay so totally missed the 60s. She is an utterly stereotypical 50s housewife who puts up with her moody husband’s rudeness with smile after smile. Her patient subservience to his insufferable gruffness is boring. They can’t talk about sex and seem never to have had much. They can’t say sexual words, like they’ve just been released from a 1958 blush bubble. Apparently, even the sex therapist hasn’t heard about the discovery of the clit. (“Have you had an orgasm, vaginal or otherwise?” he asks Kay.) It is simply hard to believe that this is all taking place in the 21st century.

There are a couple of near-sex scenes that end in tears, but neither my companion nor I could figure out what actually goes wrong. The week away is about grappling with their lack of sex in a frank way, but we never find out how their attempts at grappling go: does he cum? does he lose his erection? Why does he keep storming away from their embrace? They are fully clothed at all times, including when he seems to mount her in the fancy hotel room, before he pulls away. Even when she masturbates (he claims not to masturbate!), she seems to do it by tentatively touching her breasts. And when she buys bananas to practice giving a blow job as described in a sex book their therapist suggests, she forgets what she’s doing and eats the fruit.

The question of maintaining passion in long-term relationships is of interest to everyone in long-term relationships. The issue of post-50 passion is on the minds of everyone over 50. But this movie is so vanilla, so repressed, and so devoid of real motivation and excitement, that one is resigned to Arnold suddenly becoming Mr. Touchy-Feely while Kay does what Kay does: smiles gratefully.

Here's the trailer

 

Comments

[Mike Evans]

Another film I'll not be seeing then. Ah well - it will join an impressive list. I think the last film I went to see was about five years ago.

From your description it sounds as though this couple have a relationship that is similar to many. Reverse the sexes for a moment and the whole thing looks suddenly more familiar. For some reason we assume that women who reject the advances of their husbands do so because sex with him is simply unpleasant and bothersome. Whereas if a man takes that stance it is suddenly grounds for making a film.

Let's face it, for those of us who have committed to live life-long with someone else, there are some tricky turns to negotiate as we age. For those of us over 50 [reluctantly raises hand] neither partner is likely to be the same person we were in our 20s, either physically or emotionally. I'm pleased to say that we have been lucky, and somehow manage to please one another physically, even if it's not quite so regularly as when we first met. (Just as well or nothing would ever get done!)

For a sensitive and hilarious treatment of the changes in friendships and relationships I commend to you one of the best films I've ever seen. "The Four Seasons" directed by Alan Alda. Not only superb music courtesy of some bloke called Vivaldi, but stunning photography and cleverly observed human behaviour. I think released in 81 or 82 - so probably not on general release any more. More's the pity.

[Sue Katz]

I'll put Four Seasons on my list, dear friend. As soon as I recover from the idea that you, my little buddy, are over 50!?! How did that happen?

[Shirley Moskow]

You nailed the film and I agree, except for Steve Carrell. They were so uncomfortable thinking about sex, I thought that he was just trying to be sensitive. He seemed to work at finding euphemisms that would not upset their comfort level -- one of them always seemed on the verge of walking out -- and that they would understand.

[Sue Katz]

Yes, I think Carrell did the job he was given in the film - I just think it was an uncharacteristically tame character type for him to play. And hey, the best part of the film was running into you at the movie theatre!!

[Joan Price]

Love your review, Sue. I linked to it from my Naked at Our Age FB page: http://www.facebook.com/JoanPriceAuthor. Really, a sex therapist who says "...orgasm, vaginal or otherwise"? Oh dear.

[Sue Katz]

Thanks Joan for linking. He was quite and earnest young character, the therapist, but didn't seem to know much about women's sexuality.

[Charles Coe]

I think part of the problem is that this is an American project. We seem to make two kinds of film about sex: 1. "Nudgenudge, winkwink, gigglegiggle." 2. "Woowoo, lookit this...they're DOIN' IT"! I don't know if this country will ever be able to have intelligent conversations about race or sex.

[Sue Katz]

Charles (winkwink), you usually come through with something positive and optimistic (nudgenudge). What's going to become of us?