Film Review: Lincoln

And the most boring film of the century? Lincoln! No, not of the century, as that’s much too short. Let’s just say, the most boring film since the day I was born. Let’s add some adjectives: would “excruciatingly ponderous” be too much of an understatement?

Frankly, I didn’t know there were so many look-alike white men in the world of cinema. All droning on and on in an historical drama that was bereft of drama and, I suspect, lacking in a bit of historical accuracy as well.

Black people were “allowed” to sandwich this dreary film – as if they had played just the smallest bit part in achieving the 13th amendment. At the start, two African-American soldiers chat with Lincoln, establishing Lincoln as a sweetie; at the end, his black valet stares at his back as Lincoln sets out for an evening of getting killed. In between it is white men screaming at each other, hating on each other, manipulating each other in the legislature. I could have saved myself a few bob by staying home and turning on C-Span (live coverage of the Congress).

The music was dirge-like from start to finish, making the tedious experience feel even more sodden. Somehow it seemed like Lincoln was playing Daniel Day Lewis, not the other way around. In any case, Daniel Day Lewis appeared to be sporting a hump prosthesis. The press has already lauded him for being able to speak in Lincoln’s high squeaky voice: I was sorry he kept it up so well as the grating noise interrupted my nap. The only woman in the film who featured for more than a second or two was Lincoln’s wife. The role was given to Sally Field for her experience in crying for the camera and in looking bummed out.

What with all the big guns involved, you’d think we’d get at least a bit of entertainment instead of these ugly men fighting over the end of the civil war vs. the end of slavery. Steven Spielberg directed, but perhaps he was on Quaaludes or something; Tony Kushner based his monotonous screenplay on a book by Doris Kearns Goodwin; and the 5-Oscar winning composer John Williams honed “dreary” to perfection.

And now to defend myself. I had gone to the movie house with the intention of seeing Anna Karenina but the heat wasn’t working in that viewing room and Lincoln was starting in another room right at the same time. I saw it by accident – the kind of accident there isn’t insurance for. I am 65 years old and Spielberg wasted about four hours (counting travel) of my ever-shortening life. I’m not angry: I’m furious.

Comments

[Haim Bresheeth]

Sounds like you saved me some real torture...

[Sue Katz]

Haim, I live to serve!

[Allen Young]

Attention friends of Sue Katz: I liked this film and so did the two friends who went with me. Her diatribe against the film must be due to some personal issue that evening, or just the fact that the faces on the screen, about 98% of the time, belong to men. Many people I know personally or via Facebook (including feminists and leftists) liked this film for its entertainment value alone, as well as for the political battle depicted, and while there were undoubtedly some historical inaccuracies in it, it seems historians are not angry or rejecting the film the way Sue is. This review was a personal rant, which Sue, in her wisdom, and given her advanced years, is certainly entitled to. I don't doubt her experience, but if I were reading this blog, I wouldn't accept Sue's critique given the way the film has been embraced widely. Hers is at best a quirky personal commentary, and that's OK, but recognize it for what it is.

[Sue Katz]

Wow, I love comments that are longer than the article they're commenting on! And I just love the fact that you give me leeway because of my age. Since you're my senior, I bow to your superior years and hope that you'll post your comment on my FB page as well!

[Shirley Moskow]

Sue, I use my own barometer to rate films,whether my husband stays awake. Ordinarily, he falls asleep as soon as the lights dim. He stayed awake for all of Lincoln. Based on that, I'd say you're review is too, too harsh.

Nevertheless, I like your reviews.
Shirley

[Allen Young]

What a nice pleasant response to my post. I can't help but love this girl. Oops, I'm not supposed to say "girl." Also, my post is NOT longer than the article, but maybe, at 65, Sue has problems counting words.

[Sue Katz]

Shirley, I'm a bit napper at films as well, so I can relate. Maybe my general disinterest in electoral politics influenced the degree to which I found this flick boring, but only the degree, not the fact.

[Tracy Moore]

Well I'm married to a woman who has been in love with Lincoln since the 3rd grade, and we loved the movie, but I laughed out loud at least 5 times reading this to my girl and bbf over breakfast. Your rants are some of the best writing you do m'love!

[Sue Katz]

Seems like a hit in LA, Tracy - but thanks for encouraging me in my rantish behavior. Because there's no way to hold it in. Hugs.

[Charles Coe]

Sue, I haven't seen it yet so can't comment on your comments. But what I can't figure out is...did you like the movie or not?

[james dubro]

I didn't dislike the film as much as you but thought it was rather labored & on the long side. But the political acumen/backbone/guts of Lincoln portrayed is something that should inspire the current President to push forward with his tax the richer more agenda & actually get it passed along with other progressive changes (even with a reactionary House of Rep much like the one in the Lincoln film, lol). But Sue did like the scene of the woman in bed with the House Leader when he presents the just passed 13th Amendment to his slave cum lover? (the only "sex" scene in the movie--a first for Holllywood?) The voice was grating & I suspect more or less accurate as Doris Goodwin has said as much, lol. I was so glad they left out the assassination scene.
Keep up your highly entertaining & energized reviews--love them (even if I don't always agree, lol). BTW what did you really think of "Lincoln"??????

[Sue Katz]

Hey Charles and James, the one thing I can count on is that everyone here is a comedian. I wish I had spent the time I spent at the film hanging out with one of you!

[Greg Morris]

It is a great film if you are into American History and its politics. I believe it was very accurate, not only is the film based on a portion of Doris Kearns Goodwin's TEAM OF RIVALS, she was the cief historian for the flick. Like all major issues faced in the history of this country, slavery had to go through the meat grinder called Congress, and the film did a great job showing us that process.

[Stephanie]

I haven’t seen Lincoln and won’t for various reasons that have nothing to do with this review. But, I think that when you feel absolutely furious at losing several hours of your life, something is definitely wrong!

[sue katz]

Amen, Steph.

[Allison]

My dad (70) and I (40) walked out after an hour of this. We both couldn't take the boredom any longer. I love Daniel Day-Lewis, but this film DRAGGED on like a root canal.

[sue katz]

Oh Allison, I'm so glad someone agreed with me! We seem to be in the minority and I worry that it will win best pic at the Oscars.

[Gema Gray]

I just went to see "Lincoln" with my 15 year old son. He is a history buff, and asked to see it. I was concerned that he'd be bored...

We both loved the movie. He wants to see it again! It feels authentic. The performances are all compelling. It is dreary, and monochromatic, and full of smoky rooms and old, white, bearded men, because that's what it was like. Women were an afterthought and even for some supporters of the 13th Ammendment, so were people of color.

This is an Oscar-worthy movie IMHO. Incidentally we learned that my son shares a birthday with the day the vote was taken in the House to approve the Amendment.:-)

[sue katz]

Yes, I suspect it'll win big-time during awards season. So glad he liked it - what can I say?

[Booker]

I am completely stupefied by the generally positive reception of this film by American audiences. I too was unable to sit through more than one hour of this film. Ask anyone I know, sans the most boring professor I may have had the misfortune to have had to hear lecture on the details of historiography once or twice in college, and they'll tell you I'm someone who appreciates almost anything of educational value and historical significance. I'm convinced that because of the superb authenticity and quality of delivery for which the film can be credited, serious cinema technocrats will want to highlight the film on the merits. But, returning to my first critique, considering audiences, I cannot believe the average American moviegoer actually possesses the historical knowledge, intellectual value of didactic historical fiction or physiology to sit still and remain awake in a dark room with so little sensory stimulation to to keep their heart rate from falling past a critical level! I am really considering the possibility that most of the likes are coming from those who feel bolstered by the film and are feigning erudition over the cinema arts to the dismay of "real people" who have been watching movies all our lives and would love to reclaim any time spent on this movie out of our lives as a waste of providence's gift to us. Let me be clear that I did not enjoy this film.

[sue katz]

Addison, I feel like replacing my review with your comment - which really gave me a giggle. "...to sit still and remain awake in a dark room with so little sensory stimulation to to keep their heart rate from falling past a critical level!" My fear is that Lincoln will win Best Picture. (I guess more benign than if the pro-torture film wins.) Thanks for writing!

[Booker]

Sue, I hope you giggled because of the comment's substance and not the typo (I duplicated "to" which is a pet peeve of mine as a writer). Thanks for the post!

[Sue Katz]

Jeez, I didn't even notice your fingers stutter (to to), I was so taken with your witty comments.

[Maggie]

It was dull, and the scene with the two white guys reciting the Gettysburg Address is completely bogus "movie moment"--did they tape record it?

[Sue Katz]

Dull is a good word for it. But Maggie, can you say why it's received such top reviews and nominations for so many awards? I can't figure that out.

[P&L]

Sue, my wife and I loved your review! Finally, someone got it right. I dozed off several times during the movie waiting for the interesting part that never came, all the while begging my wife to let us leave. But, we stayed to the end. Old white dudes arguing in Congress--now that's excitement. We too are fearful it will win the Oscar (we are pulling for Les Mis). Keep up the great work!

[sue katz]

Oh what a relief! Really, so many people felt it was riveting - and yet, I thought it was a sleeping pill. Nice to have a meeting of the minds! Thanks.

[Just a Guy]

Counting prime numbers to 1 million is more exciting than this movie. I'm just glad SAG sent to us for free so that my sweat and hard earned money didn't go to this.
I started and stopped this movie 4 times and I tap out at the 45min to 1 hour mark every time.
ITS SOOOOOOOO BORING.
In fact I'm making my 5th try as I'm typing this so its clear which has more of my attention.
Out of rrespect for fellow actors I'm trying my best to get through and swe why its so praiseworthy but I'm beginning to think that by praiseworthy they mean that for whoever has the focus to sit through something about as exciting as eggs boiling.
Pray that i can make it through this with my sanity.

[Sue Katz]

"Just a Guy," you are very sweet to demonstrate such solidarity with your fellow actors. Interesting that the critics have not been defining the award-season so far - other films are winning far more than Lincoln. What a good hype job their marketing people did at first.

[Valerie]

My husband and I saw Lincoln last night and echo your opinions exactly. Definition of overrated! Like the Emperor's New Clothes, we think everyone's afraid to admit that it was boring, for fear of being exposed as unintelligent. In fact, I found your post by Googling Lincoln review boring!