Sue Katz: Consenting Adult

Tarting Up the Babies and the Seniors

What do you say to a 6 year-old whose cheeks could use a bit of gloss? If you were out-of-date, you might suggest that she go play kickball with the other kids to get that rosy, healthy shine. Or you could spare her all that sweaty effort and point her towards the new Barbie/Bonne Bell cosmetic products aimed at 6-9 year old girls. Why wait to tart yourself up, little girl? Beauty compulsion is just around the teeny corner anyway, so you might as well get a jump on your competitors.

Mattel excuses their new “girl-savvy” line by claiming, "The Barbie and Bonne Bell partnership will bring girls a fun, feminine and unique beauty experience…" And, why not. Clearly it’s about time we got those recalcitrant first-graders doing something about their femininity. Enough with thinking you are a kid. You’re not. You’re merely a girl and these “two globally loved brands” are here to help you get a grip and do something with yourself, already.

But wait! They’re after me, too. The cosmetics industry isn’t exclusively  focused on inculcating children with extreme gender-fication and its accompanying insecurities – they’re very interested in the older crowd too. Their ads endlessly point out our many potential beauty failings – from wrinkles to age spots to yellowed teeth to drooping eyes to sagging necks. And of course, dull grey hair. And luckily they’ve got solutions for what ails us.

According to CosmeticsDesign.com, “All of the leading cosmetic companies are targeting older consumers with color cosmetics, oral care, skin care, anti-aging and hair care products specifically aimed at the older consumer.”

Up till now, the cosmetics industry has focused on alleged age-defying products that work on (or create) the fears of the 30 and 40somethings. Now that boomers are in our 50s or 60s, there’s no denying that aging cannot be defied. So instead of pretending their goop will erase the years, they have no choice but to “celebrate” our advancing years.

To sell us various potions and lotions, Unilever, for example, has hired Annie Leibovitz (58) for a campaign featuring “real” 50+ women in all our glory. Revlon too is focusing  on older women in the hopes that selling us good looks will “fuel a turnaround” of their finances.

And why are they all sucking up to mature women? Apparently, at $37.9 billion, over 45s are spending $8.4 billion more on primping than younger customers. The new lines are on the shelves, with ad campaigns featuring women over 50. Procter & Gamble brought back their model of 30 years ago, Christie Brinkley (52); L’Oreal Paris has Jane Fonda (68) for Europe and Diane Keaton (60) for the States. In fact, Keaton has carved out a niche as the ubiquitous professional “older woman,” pushing everything from osteoporosis medication to “restorative” creams.

“What’s next?” my cousin Sandy the brilliant portrait collagist asked, “Make-up for the dead? Maybe a slogan: Look more alive today than you ever did when you were still breathing.” She’s right. They’ve got us coming and going, these "beauty" peddlers. Will wigs for newborns be far behind?

Parthenogenesis: Be fruitful and go screw yourself

There’s been a spate of virgin births, and this time it’s not just the bees and the ants having self-quickies to create a working class. Suddenly – in scientific time, anyway – animals with bones and cartilage are engaging in solo-reproduction.

Last year the BBC reported on Flora, a resident in a British zoo in Chester. Flora has been having gaggles of little Komodo dragons – the biggest lizards in the world at 200 pounds, 10 feet long – without the help of any guy lizards. Tests on the genetic matter of some eggs that died showed that the “genetic make-up was derived just from her. The team concluded they were a result of asexual reproduction…”

Then Sungai, another Komodo dragon who loved herself, dropped four little Komodo dragon tots – and according to the London Zoo – Sungai hadn’t been out with a fellow in over two years. Yet another unexpected parthenogenesis. Apparently preferring a second salary, Sungai later hooked up with Raja, a zoo male, to have another reptile infant. In short, Sungai swings at least two ways.

Word is now getting out that back in 2001 a captive hammerhead shark had a virgin birth at the Henry Doorly Zoo in Nebraska. The baby shark has not a shred of paternal DNA and this worries scientists. They are concerned about the diversity of the gene pool. This is to them like the intermarriage of clans of cousins – taken to the highest level of inbreeding. None of these male scientists are personally disconcerted by the sidelining of the ole XY, I’m sure. The sad ending is that shortly after the sharkette was born, it was killed by some stingray sharing its tank.

Which brings us to us. Those genetic cowboys at The Roslin Institute (think: Dolly the sheep) have created human embryos from “stimulating a human egg to start dividing like an embryo without the addition of any genetic material from a male sperm cell.” This Edinburgh team aims to get their little human parthenotes far enough along to mine stem cells, like others have done with mice and monkeys, but so far it remains in the realm of imagination.

A special note of warning to those into kinky electricity play: the way these scientists get these eggs to develop without sperm is first to culture them in the lab “in such a way that they retain all of their chromosomes. A spark of electricity is then used to initiate the process of embryonic division.”

So for those who find girl/boy congress unappealing, either because it’s too messy – all that lube and cum, too hetero or too much work, perhaps there’s a bit of hope that the next time someone tells you to go screw yourself, it’s because they want to plan a baby shower for you.

Joan Price: Better Than I Ever Expected

Joan Price, the author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty, is determined to “speak up even louder” when she runs into resistance to the idea that older people are having exciting sex. Below she explains how falling in love at 57 inspired the writing of her book. Check out Joan's blog about sex and aging at http://www.betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com

SK: You write that at age 63, you’re now having the best sex of your life.
JP: There's nothing hotter than sex between people who know their own bodies, are crazy about each other, relish taking lots of time and honor sex as extremely spiritual and physical. I just don't think people can get there without a whole lot of life experience and a hefty dose of relationship mistakes along the way!

SK: Do you think sex after 60 feels the same as younger sex?
JP: No, there are definitely challenges. Our bodies are slower to respond, and we may have more trouble reaching orgasm. But we're the same women we were decades ago—lusty and loving—and if we encounter a hurdle, we hop over it or figure a way around it. Our bodies might be aging, but great sex isn't just about body parts.

SK: How do you cope with those challenges?
JP: Sexual response is in our brains. I'm in love with the man I've been looking for my whole life, whom I met when I was 57 and he was 64. We're as turned on by each other as a couple of teenagers, but with the juicy addition of decades of life experience, self-knowledge, communication skills and a sense of humor. We're also willing to experiment and stretch our boundaries. We overcome the physical challenges by being inventive and resourceful. We take advantage of the lessened urgency by slowing things down taking more time. I include extremely candid details in the book!

SK: You reveal a lot of intimate details in your book. Was that a problem for you or your lover?
JP: I have to admit I loved writing about our sex life, often ended up squirming in my ergonomic chair looking forward our next bit of, uh, research. He is a much more private person and it was a challenge for him to see that I was revealing such personal details. But he believes in this book and the need to shatter stereotypes about aging and sexuality, so he's totally supportive.

SK: Is our society becoming more accepting of older age sexuality?
JP: I wish. One day I watched some television talk shows about the sexiness of older women. They dressed sexy, pole-danced and taught the audience how to strip. But these so-called "older" women were probably in their 40s! I'd like to see women who admit and look like they're over 60 on these talk shows, rousing other older women to assert their sexuality. We need to accept that women can and do stay sexy through the decades, and it doesn't stop when we no longer can hide the wrinkles or saggy skin.