Oscars 2009: Why should biology be fashion destiny?

Oops. I almost forgot to write about the Oscars. Desperate to stop the downward trend of viewing numbers (do numbers of any kind do anything but plummet of late?), the Academy Awards ceremony went through restructuring. The results were superior to those of bank restructurings, but not so exciting that I immediately remembered to blog about it. So by now you know whatever you intend to know about the results. I’ll restrict myself to personal observation.

Hugh Jackman was the host, apparently because he is young(ish), handsome(ish) and multi-talented. I admit that he did a perfectly adequate job in this revised format, but he’s a stranger to me. In line with my usual rigorous research, I looked him up on IMDb.com and turns out I’ve never seen a thing he ever did, unless I happened to catch that Saturday Night Live episode he hosted in 2001. One of his upcoming acting gigs listed on IMBb, however, sounds ever so kinky:
    “Guardians of Ga'Hoole (2010) (filming) (voice) (rumored)”

Perhaps I’m showing my age (and about time, too), but I remain firmly in the fan camps of hosts Billy Crystal, Whoopi Goldberg (hot tiger print cleavage this year!) and – my absolutely favorite Oscar night (2007) – Ellen DeGeneres. My most excited moment (1973) remains when Sacheen Littlefeather turned down Marlon Brando’s Oscar for “The Godfather” in protest of the misrepresentation of Native Americans in film. You can see it here. And there were those years early in the pandemic when all my tension was centered on not who might win, but on who would stand up and wear the Red Ribbon in solidarity.

Back to Sunday night. The biggest surprise of the evening was that “Waltz with Bashir” didn’t win Best Foreign Language Film. (The only other contender I saw was “The Class,” an excessively long yawn which I napped through one afternoon.) “Waltz with Bashir” is the much-awarded Israeli film about a soldier’s recovered memories of his own actions during the 1982 incursion into Lebanon and the massacre of Palestinians in the refugee camps Sabra and Shatilla. “Waltz with Bashir” has been praised not only for its content but for its extraordinary and unique style of animation. Coming out in theaters, as it did, during Israel’s recent attack on Gaza, only added to its relevance.

Like most people, I live a life of contradictions. I adore the Red Carpet sessions, but totally freak out at how narrow the permissibles of women’s fashion have become again. The one and only celebrity in the whole bleedin’ show that I spotted with short hair and pants was Shirley McLaine. Something is very, very wrong with this picture.

What’s with the Noah’s Ark fashion vision – the men in a tux and the women in chiffon? Where’s the imagination? Where’s someone who looks even vaguely like a couture version of me and my posse? Why should biology be fashion destiny? Some of those guys – and I’m serious now – would love to be floating in ruffles and some of those girls carry off a suit brilliantly.

Even those women who started their careers with fiery toughness are ground into a homogenized image of which the mediocre Beyonce is now considered the gold standard. I didn’t even recognize the once-distinctive Alicia Keyes, except for that lovely uneven smile. There were self-satisfied cheers when Sean Penn called for civil rights for all, but damn, when there’s an absolutely universal feeling among the Hollywood women that a girl can’t wear flat shoes and fancy-pants (or eat a cupcake) without it being a risk to her career, the industry should get real.

Dustin Lance Black made a sweet Harvey-honoring speech when he won the Original Screenplay award for “Milk,” although for an escaped Mormon he surprised me with all his gratitude to god. I worried when he went out on limb in his pledge to all the lesbian and gay kids watching, “And very soon, I promise you, you will have equal rights federally across this great nation of ours.” Does he know something I don’t know? You can see his speech here.

I liked that Sean Penn, when he won Best Actor, mentioned the anti-gays demonstrating against “Milk” outside the ceremony and that he said that those who supported Proposition 8 (banning gay marriage) would have to “anticipate their great shame and the shame in their grandchildrens’ eyes.” He had opened with a good line - “You commie homo-loving sons-of-guns” – and went on to thank everyone except, whoops, his wife and Harvey Milk.

Random Baubles:

• Tina Fey and Steve Martin did the funniest bit.
• I was glad that “Slumdog Millionaire” won big-time, but I doubt that that will stop Hollywood from continuing to poo-poo independent films (“Slumdog” almost went straight to DVD).
• The idea of having five past winners praise the nominees personally and then present the Oscar is adorable. Sophia Loren?! At the end of the last millennium, I voted for her for some Hottie of the Century Award. I liked her saucy hand-on-hip attitude at the Oscars (she praised the increasingly wonderful Meryl Streep), but I felt that she was somehow covered in a plastic that prevented me getting my usual heat-off-the-flesh flash when I see her.
• I loved the idea of a big musical production as a tribute to musicals, but this one didn’t do it for me. It didn’t help that Beyonce was Jackman’s co-star. To me she’s neither milk nor meat, as we say, she is just the perfection of a stereotype that I could do without. (I read in the Enquirer Magazine that Michelle warned Beyonce off further flirting with Barack.)
• We were able to sneer in a much more informed way at the special award to the annoying Jerry Lewis because one of my viewing guests is a key Boston figure in the disability rights world, which is in a long-term state of conflict with Lewis.

Finally, Queen Latifah, always smoothly articulate even when dressed up like a fake-femme package (here with Amy Adams), sang “I’ll be seeing you” while a memorial piece to some of those who have passed played behind her. Badly directed, we were as often as not unable to see the names or images of the departed. Perhaps that is why the Academy removed the clip of what they broadcast from YouTube, but replaced it with the tribute that had been playing behind Queen Latifah. Here it is:

Comments

[Sue Katz]

Oops, as a friend pointed out, Tilda Swinton had fairly short hair. And I've found a photo showing Eva Marie Saint wearing a fancy pants-suit. (That's two older women wearin' the pants.) No guys in gowns, tho.

[Maggie Jochild]

Hear, hear! There was a LOT more fashion diversity (and creativity) 30 years ago, or even 60 years ago, than at the current moment. Conservatism has had its way with so-called individuality, and especially with regard to gender policing. For all the current generation's claim to being "beyond gender", they don't actually defy it very often in imaginative ways. Think Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence or the Trocs, not to mention Annie Hall, versus how pastry-cutout predictable even those who claim to be defying stereotypes are now.

Well, as capitalism collapses, so will the value folks place on obeying the pink-and-blue boxes. (And no, rigidly adhering to stiff blue you were born pink is NOT deconstructing the boxes. Try again.)

[Mia]

I agree Ellen is one of my favorite Oscar host. When she started to vacumn I nearly cried! She was smooth and effortless, why didnt they have her back. I appreciate that Hugh is a triple threat which makes him great for the Tony's but for an audience who have absolutely no idea who Jerome Robbins is let alone Stanley Donen it was waste. To have non-muscial performers like Beyonce, Zac Efron doing classics, well you see what happened.As much as I adore Ms. Latifah- my absolute favorite moment in the Oscars in Memorium, I dont need anyone to sing or accompany it.The power of the passage is enough. Hopefully they will rememeber that next time but that said it was one of the better directed Oscars. As Danny Boyle said " Well Done"!