On Sunday I moderated a cross-generational panel of five speakers representing lesbians in their 80s, 70s, 40s, 30s, and 20s. This was one of the monthly events put on by our Boston OLOC (Old Lesbians Organizing for Change). The audience too covered this age range, as we had advertised it in Meet-Up groups of all sorts. This is a departure from our usual events, for and about old lesbians.
I was surprised by how similar our experiences were. Some of us faced nasty resistance when we came out and some managed to escape brutal reactions – regardless of age. Both of the youngest women felt most comfortable with themselves after meeting and bonding with older – or old – women. All of us were hot to trot over increased contact among the generations.
Evolving language was interesting. We ascribed varied meanings to the word “queer,” and each of us used different self-descriptors. Dyke, butch, lesbian, queer. Whereas in the early days we used to identify as “working class socialist feminist dyke” or “anti-patriarchy radical feminist lesbian.” Today there’s a different range which involves identifying one’s preferred pronouns and sexuality: pansexual, demisexual, celibate, gender non-conforming queer woman. Our conversation about dating habits (serial monogamy/non-monogamy) was fascinating.
And then there’s the issue of sex toys. Some of us reminisced about the bad ole days of hard hollow plastic dildos in “harnesses” like wonky elastic sanitary pad belts bought in sleazy porn shops. The younger women didn’t know a time before Good Vibrations and Eve’s Garden that featured women-produced equipment.
We talked about being lesbian in the vile age of tRump and expressed various levels of optimism that we’d build a strong, wide movement. Several of us talked about how important it was to overcome age barriers and to stick together. Young and old agreed. I have personal knowledge of how essential that can be. If it weren’t for my young friend Bren, it might have been another five years before I found someone to flip my mattress.
Brilliant. Just having a forum for those conversations to happen. And hurrah for Old Lesbians (In moderation of course.) It is only in understanding one another - whether the differences are age, gender, sexuality or even politics - that we will be able to change the direction of flow in this age, of which tRump is not the cause, only a symptom.
Posted by: Mike Evans | 09 January 2018 at 07:02