This is the letter I wrote to my friend just hours before she died. Her husband Jim, who cared for her for many years, read it to her and said that she sent her love to me. I'll put in the link to her obituary at the end for those who want to learn more about her.
March 13, 2018
Dear Linda,
When Jim told me that you are gravely ill, I remembered back to when we first met. I was working for a huge British non-profit that promoted full-time volunteerism. I had just been promoted to developing international partnerships. As my parents lived in Pittsburgh, I decided that a partnership in Pittsburgh would be just the thing to pay for my flights for yearly visits.
Through the University of Pittsburgh, I found you in your Oakland office just a block or two from my parents’ apartment. There you were sending young people to Europe to be nannies. Organizationally, it was a perfect fit. Personally it was mutual love at first sight.
We began sharing hotel rooms at European conferences. It took us a bit of time to work it out – you with your stream-of-consciousness chatting and me with my need to sit in silence and write every day. But we fell into a pattern smoothed by love. One time in Paris you arrived later than me and when you came into the room, you had a perplexed look on your face. “I was unable to get my bag off the luggage carousel,” you told me. You were such a seasoned traveler that this made no sense. Later we realized that this was one of your first symptoms.
That night we went out to a brasserie that you knew and I had the best steak I had ever eaten. Little did I know that it was only one steak of many that I would savor as a result of our friendship. Every time I visited you in Pittsburgh, Jim would grill me the best steaks in the world. I certainly have always dined well at the Greenberg café!
Speaking of meat, when my parents heard we were meeting up at some European conference or other, they came by your house, despite having never met you, to ask you bring me a Kosher salami they had brought for me, which of course you did.
On one visit, we went shopping for eyeglasses for your daughter – then just a teenager – in a part of Pittsburgh that was being yuppified and reinvented. You re-introduced me to my very changed hometown.
I’ll never forget how you turned up at my dad’s funeral. It was such a special gesture on your part and looking up and seeing you there during my eulogy was incredibly comforting. But then generosity is one of your strongest cards. I have luxuriated in your basement accommodations more than once at your invitation.
You’ve met many of my closest friends – from Barry to Sandy – and always welcomed them into your home. I appreciate your ability to embrace new people, which is probably one of the reasons you were so successful at your work. Then too, there is your tenacity. Long before “She persisted” became a feminist cry, you fought for your rights as a person with a disability, becoming an expert in your field. We even formed a non-profit to propagate your knowledge and to introduce children to a person in a wheelchair ready to share her story.
I’ve learned tons from you, but most poignantly, I’ve been showered with love from you. I thank you and kiss you and miss you.
Always,
Sue
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/postgazette/obituary.aspx?page=lifestory&pid=188456857
Katz, So sorry for your loss. You have a knack for having amazing, interesting, dynamic people in your life. You attract them and cultivate them and all are enriched by the experience. I hope that brings you some solace.
Your posting served as a reminder that I consider you to be one of the most fascinating people in my life and we really, really need to have lunch, hug, and catch up.
Posted by: Gema Gray | 16 March 2018 at 21:33
How sweet you are! And yes, let's make a date, Gema.
Posted by: Sue Katz | 17 March 2018 at 09:56
A lovely and heartfelt letter, and so wonderful that she could hear it while among us. We are now at that stage in our lives when I, in particular, am taking the time to thank people I care about and tell them how much I appreciate their presences in my life.
Posted by: SUE C KELMAN | 17 March 2018 at 12:09
Such a good thing to do, Sue!
Posted by: Sue Katz | 17 March 2018 at 12:45
Wha a wonderful woman and what a wonderful friendship. My sincere condolences.
Posted by: Marj | 22 March 2018 at 21:06
You're the best Marj. Thanks so much.
Posted by: Sue Katz | 22 March 2018 at 23:09
Just read this beautiful piece Sue, you really do bring out the character of this wonderful sounding woman. I remember when you worked for this charity and how hard it was at times so glad such a special friendship came out of it. Sending condolences for your loss.
Posted by: Kaz | 31 March 2018 at 12:59