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27 August 2018



Thanks for sharing these experiences, Sue. I get it and it's sad and frustrating. I must say, though, that you seem to have handled yourself brilliantly! Kudos!

Mike Evans

What a shame that people feel the need to be aggressive in any way in a dance environment. As a man who likes to lead and to follow (and is passable at both) it is rare that a man asks me to dance - though I have a few reliable friends who do, including one of our teachers. That helps make it acceptable. I have attended followers technique classes at events on occasion and no one has questioned it.

Naturally I accept that most of the men at an event are going to prefer to dance with a woman. In the same way that a lesbian would probably prefer to dance with a woman and a gay man would have a preference for another man. In a class context I usually lead because there are usually more followers than leaders.

The difference is that I don't seem to experience aggression.
Once or twice a refusal when rotating ("I don't dance with men." to which my usual response is "suit yourself") But even that hasn't happened in a long while. Is this because I'm a man and people therefore think they are less likely to get away with being aggressive toward me do you think?

Amy Rose

I would happily dance with you and let you lead!

Sue Katz

Mike, I don't necessarily have a preference for women followers - a good dance is a good dance. Since I'm not really out cruising at dance (to say the least!), I just want a responsive connection from someone happy to dance with me - for the right reasons! i.e. dance reasons. I actually think things in the UK are much more progressive than the West Coast scene here. There are more open dance scenes (Lindy-hop and Blues come to mind), but really West Coast lags behind on all things forward-thinking. Obviously not everyone, but it's real. Big hugs to you, always.

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