Sue Katz: Consenting Adult

Remembering Doreen Gordon who has died at 93

My friend Doreen Gordon is dead at 93. I met her when she signed up for my senior fitness classes at the Brookline Senior Center and she rapidly became the keystone to our community. Not only did she find ways to connect otherwise isolated seniors with each other, she inspired the personality of Lillian, the protagonist in my short story in the collection Lillian’s Last Affair. Well, in one sense. The old-woman-talking-like-a-sailor sense. More about that below. (From left: Doreen, Yolanda, me)

Doreen came from quite a posh South African background, lived a cultured life in New York with her late husband and two incredible daughters Jenny and Amy, and then moved to Boston to be close to one daughter and granddaughter after she recovered from being hit by a damned bus. Doreen was such a petite and put-together woman that between herself and the bus, it was not a fair fight.

To build connection among my students, Doreen began hosting high teas in her fabulous apartment, taking us group by group. Her closest friend from the class, Yolanda, often attended all the groups. We’d have finger sandwiches with salmon and the most luxurious selection of pastries known to human taste buds. I was often tempted to steal the leftovers – friendship be damned – but in fact she often made me up a care package with my favorites: the mini-scones and the crispy almond cookies. (Tea Party: Doreen third from right, laughing)

She used her baking skills to bring joy to every occasion we could find to celebrate, refusing to take money for the ingredients. She picked out the movies for us to see on senior discount matinee day. She told me privately when I was being too hard on someone in the class, or too soft. Doreen and I had what amounted to a secret consultation phone relationship behind the scene of our group. We talked about everyone and everything. She hooked me up with her daughter Jenny when I went to New Orleans for the first time, and Jenny pointed me to all the right places. Doreen invited me a few times to join her to watch the Boston Marathon on the sidewalk in front of her daughter Amy’s house, which is on the route. Amy would have oranges to peel so that we could hold sections in the flat of our hands for the runners to grab. It was on the way home from one such afternoon that my train was stopped at Kenmore Square and we all had to get off and run upstairs. The Marathon bombs had just gone off at the next stop. (Marathon day: Doreen and Amy in center)

But I digress. How did she inspire the character of Lillian? One day in the run-up to the 2008 election, we went to Trader Joe’s together (something we did a number of times). As we crossed the main intersection of Brookline at Beacon and Harvard, there was a man holding a huge sign, a large poster of Barak Obama with a Hitler mustache. Doreen walked right up to him, looked up to his face a good foot or so above her, and hissed, “Fuck You!”

I’m sure this man had already put up with plenty of abuse in that spot in the middle of a Jewish neighborhood, but he never anticipated such a curse from this tiny lovely white-haired woman. Later she told me that she had spent her whole life being prim and proper, but at this point she no longer felt the need to restrain herself. And with that sentence, the character of Lillian was born in my imagination, a woman who perfected swearing late in life.

Life is full of losses as we age, and this is a biggie. I’m only sorry that Doreen, with her love of humans and music and art and travel and good food, had to spend her final period under the regime of tRump. Many in the community which she built among my students pre-deceased her, but next Saturday I will be able to connect with dear Yolanda, with Doreen’s precious family, and with those of us who are lucky to still be around to mourn her.

Gina Ogden: August 9, 1935 – November 2, 2018

My friend Gina Ogden has died at age 83 of stage IV lung cancer at home surrounded by her long-time lover Jo Chaffee, her daughter Cathy and son Philip, and her close friend and nurse Tina, who came from Sweden to care for her.

After her diagnosis in January, Gina consulted a variety of medical and healing folks and decided to forgo traditional Western treatment, so that she would live out the time she had left as joyfully as always. She used complimentary medicine to build herself up for this last period and palliative care to get her through it. We went swimming this summer at Walden Pond. We met for our traditional bi-weekly teas at the Porter Square Independent Bookstore. She gifted me her most sparkling shirt so I’d have a new outfit to wear to the holiday party we always went to together.

Gina and I were writing buddies: she did close readings of my manuscripts and I did the same for her. We met through a mutual friend, a very successful writer, the late Sarah Wernick. We were all in a writers’ union together, although I did not then know Gina. Sarah and I had an additional connection: she was a student in my senior fitness group. Sarah offered to help me with my proposal for a non-fiction book in exchange for my working privately with her husband, who had Parkinson’s Disease. Even after he no longer wanted to train, Sarah continued to mentor my proposal, right through her diagnosis and treatment for cancer. When she became too ill, she asked Gina to take on me and my proposal for the last round. Gina read the entire proposal and sample chapters that very night – she was a super-fast reader – and we immediately began a tradition of mutual support.

Although we both wrote about sex, our approaches were as different as our personalities – but somehow it all worked brilliantly for us. Once we finished getting out her last book, just weeks before her death, she told me that she had said all she had to say and was ready to go. 

Gina was an award-winning pioneer in the field of sexology and a tireless advocate for everyone’s right to sexual well-being. For her 1994 (blockbuster) book Women Who Love Sex, she conducted qualitative instead of quantitative research. What that means is that instead of asking, as male sexologists always had, How many orgasms did you have? Gina asked, What gives you the most pleasure? Even Oprah Winfrey was curious about Gina’s groundbreaking work and hosted her on her show.

Gina went on to publish 13 books and countless articles, and to create a unique therapeutic system called the 4-Dimensional Wheel. She built a large international community that supports its teaching and growth, the 4-D Network (www.4-DNetwork.com).

As soon as she died, her closest people performed a ritual that Gina had arranged with them in detail, and then several others of us were invited to come break bread, listen to the gentle drumming of her drumming circle, and look at her body. She was wrapped in the expensive linen sheets she and Jo had splurged on decades ago, only to discover that they weren’t comfortable. Jo pulled them out of storage for the occasion and the linen wrapping was closed with several of Gina’s favorite scarves. This was the first time I was ever in the same room as a dead friend, chatting with others who loved her, and it seemed just right.

To learn more about Gina and her work, visit her website here: www.GinaOgden.com

Only Two Micro-Aggressions and One Irritation over a Whole Dance Weekend!

 

I think I’m going to start keeping a count of the micro-aggressions I receive at various dance events. Summer Hummer is my “home” event: it is local, it is run by my own dear teachers, and I know many of the other dancers and teachers, so they’re used to me. As the only 70+ out-dyke leader, this event is as “safe” and fantabulous as any I attend all year.

Here’s the count.

1^st Micro-aggression: At my very first workshop this weekend, one woman follower who rotated to me (we change partners every minute or so) flashed me a big, condescending smile and said, “It’s just adorable that you’re trying to lead.” I didn’t respond – didn’t give my usual answer that I’ve been leading partner dance since the late 80s. After we did the exercise, in which she realized that I was an experienced leader, she got completely uncomfortable and the smile was gone. I suspect she was furious that she felt ridiculous in her own eyes.

I would estimate that this same thing, more or less, has happened to me 150+ times in West Coast Swing, but somehow it still drives me mad.

2^nd Micro-aggression: We are lined up in the room off the ballroom waiting for our competition to begin. The followers are in one line; we leaders are in another. There are four more followers than leaders – generally the case. Some stranger man standing behind me pushes me sideways, saying, “Get over there and follow. The numbers aren’t equal.” I brush his hand off me (restraining myself from breaking it) and say, “Why don’t you follow, if it concerns you?” He can’t even comprehend what I am saying, and replies, “I just think you’ll have a better chance that way in the competition.” I’m starting to boil. “How long have you been leading partner dance?” I ask him. He refuses to answer. Just then we are led out on the competition dance floor where I am expected to do my best. Which I don’t.

What can allies do while I’m dealing with these things alone? Ask me to dance. So many dance friends purport to care about me but never ask me to dance. It’s all about the opportunities to dance, no?

Irritation: I have written about this before. Some male leaders experiment on me. They ask me to lead them. These guys do not ask male leaders. Are they repressed homophobes with secret desires to submit on the dance floor? Are they unwilling to publicly expose this desire by dancing with another guy? With me, it’s safe. I’m a woman. Inevitably for me it is like leading a truck with flat tires. They don’t know which hand to give me; they don’t know which foot to step out with; they don’t follow. Sometimes they’ve never followed before. They waste my time. They think I’m there to serve them. Afterwards, they’re just as pleased with themselves as can be: “Hey, I didn’t do half bad!” This happens most nights at least once or twice or thrice when I’m in a venue with strangers.

I shouldn’t have to add this disclaimer, but I will: There are many men who enjoy following and who also follow other leaders – and they are great to dance with. Some of my fave followers are men – because their aim is to improve their following and to enjoy the dance. They’re not acting out a subtext on my dime.

I shouldn’t have to add this disclaimer either, but I will: Summer Hummer was a major blast!

Now I have to ice my knee, soak my feet, and catch up on sleep after dancing until about 3:00am Friday and Saturday nights. I have another dance weekend coming up on Friday, this time in DC and focusing on queer dancers!!!

The Experience of Feeling Normal at Dance

 My dance friends are now used to having a lefty fat old dyke leader in their midst.

There are weekend-long dance retreats with workshops and competitions and social dancing somewhere in the country every weekend. On Saturday, I went to an evening of West Coast Swing (WCS) hosted by a teacher I respect and admire named Angel Figueroa (photo on left). The last time I competed was when I won 2^nd place in the Newcomer division on New Year’s, moving me up to the swollen Novice division – where many dancers get stuck for ages.

When I made the finals on Saturday, my friends all cheered and I was matched with a lovely friend named Brooke. We have studied together with our splendid teachers Bill and Yuna (photo left below) on Tuesday nights for a couple of years. Although we didn’t place – and hadn’t expected to – we had a grand time.

Because it was a local event, I knew many of the attendees. They are used to having a lefty fat old dyke leader in their midst. They no longer make me feel like a freak. Angel, the head judge and host, is a professional who has always encouraged me. Afterwards, two different judges – both pros I work with – gave me private feedback on where I should improve. I was honored to receive it.

When I am with strangers, I have to put up with endless micro-aggressions, from followers and others. People cannot get their heads around the idea that I lead exclusively. They think it is (choose one of the following): cute, creepy, adorable, impressive, brave, odd, repulsive, unusual – the whole gamut. I know this because they tell me so. They think they have the right to question me about why I don’t follow. Because they might have cross-role danced at a lesson or two, some folks lecture me about how I’ll never be a decent dancer until I learn to follow as well. One man in the crowd on Saturday gave me a condescending nod and a thumbs-up. If he was closer, perhaps he would have patted me on my head. Men often feel qualified to judge me because they believe that having a penis automatically makes them an authority on leading, even if they’ve been dancing all of three months. They do not point their thumbs at other men. Once I objected to a professional teacher telling us leaders in an expensive class to “Man up!” and to “Stop with the limp noodle.” Another student in that class gave me a dirty look over my objection and hissed: "Chill! Relax!" He has never walked in my shoes.

Here’s a secret I may be the only one to know. Many male leaders long to follow. They ask me to lead them and I always wonder why I don’t see most of them asking another (ie, a male) leader. Is there a fear of being in the arms of another man?

As my evening passes without aggro, I remember that I’m at an event that just a few years ago would not have allowed me to compete as a leader. On Saturday I felt normal, one of the crowd, just another dancer. Thank you to all my WCS friends who made that happen – especially Brooke, Yuna, Marcus (smiling in center of photo on left), and Angel.

Film Review: Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Sorry. Don’t hate me, but I cringed a bit at this film, which Rotten Tomatoes gives a 99% rating. (You know me: always in tune with America.) I was looking forward to it because Fred Rogers was a Pittsburgh boy much of his life and the show aired in early 1968 on my childhood PBS station WQED.

And that’s my problem. In 1965 I left my youth behind in Pittsburgh and by 1968 I was ensconced behind the barricades of Boston radicalism. As I watched this film about sweet (saccharine?) white, calm, empathetic Mr. Rogers, I kept thinking about what was going on outside that studio.

Che Guevera had been executed in Bolivia just a few months earlier while they were shooting the show. Martin Luther King Jr. and Bobby Kennedy were murdered that year. The Tet Offensive in Vietnam was in 1968. President Lyndon Johnson’s mostly pale male Kerner Commission confirmed the existence of systematic and institutional racism across the country.

While I watched the film, I couldn’t help but think that although Mr. Rogers had a reputation of speaking truth to children – about disability, about death, about feelings – his calm patience and ability to remain entirely unruffled was in painful contrast to the screams and chants and protests of my world.

Many of those oppositional voices on the streets were addressing the real problems of real kids: from poverty to racism to segregated education to gender discrimination and so much more. Rogers’ “thing” was encouraging self-esteem and showering unconditional love – he was an intelligent Dr. Feel Good to the pre-adolescent set, replacing the drugs with thoughtfulness. But as my companion at the film said, “Many children need more than self-esteem to cope.” The world he created seemed to be entirely of kids and those who cared for them all, in a kind of anonymous group hug. I think about my own childhood – with its violence, men exposing themselves, anti-Semitism, limitations on me because I was a girl – and I just can’t relate.

Full disclosure, the show was too late for me as a kid and I didn’t have children of my own, so I never had an emotional attachment to this relaxed, frank easy-going dude with the Perry Como sweaters. Nor did I gain that attachment while watching the film.

One problem for me may be the director Morgan Neville. He made the Oscar winning documentary film “20 Feet from Stardom,” which I also thought was a missed opportunity and which I also criticized. I think his ideas for films are brilliant and his execution kinda meh.

Those who grew up on Mr. Rogers or raised their kids watching the show may feel more moved. This is supposed to be a tear-jerker, but I only sprouted a bit of moisture in the scene when Mr. Rogers is sincerely surprised to meet up with the adult who, years earlier, had been a kickass kid with disabilities on his show.

Meanwhile, here’s the trailer:

Rembrandt van Rijn Made me Cry

Happy Birthday Rembrandt van Rijn (July 15, 1606—October 4, 1669)

As a high school junior in a tough inner-city school in Pittsburgh, we were given a choice of three topics for a final essay. The topic I picked was “Does the light in Rembrandt’s paintings come from an internal or an external source?”

For a teenager, that sounded awfully deep. The problem was that there were no Rembrandt paintings in Pittsburgh’s public realm. I’m sure there were some in the private homes of such local ruling class figures as Andrew W. Mellon, Charles M. Schwab, Henry Clay Frick, Henry John Heinz, and Andrew Carnegie. But our museum was more blessed with dinosaur bones in the early 1960s than classic paintings.

And so I pored through art books at the Carnegie Library and deduced that in fact the light came from an internal source. I was completely captivated by this first immersion in great art and converted to a loyal admirer – to this day – of Rembrandt. I am dazzled by his paintings of his Jewish neighbors, his memoir of self-portraits, his biblical scenes, and his culinary still-lifes.

That summer I was one of six poor whites and six poor blacks (poor being quite a relative term in this case) to win a full scholarship to the ruling class Phillips Exeter Academy’s summer school. Among the other outcasts was the daughter of the wealthy UN ambassador from India. She should have been welcomed by the others of her class (Westmorland’s granddaughter among them – this was when he was running the war on Vietnam), but she was neither white nor American. At the end of the term she invited me to go home with her to New York City, where the Nanny was holding down the fort. She taught me how to use Tampax, and I thought of her every time I used one in the subsequent decades.

One day she took me to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and I rounded a corner and came upon a room full of Rembrandts. I was ambushed by awe and love and brilliance. There was a round couch in the middle of the room and, body trembling and senses overwhelmed, I sat down and burst out in tears. A uniformed museum worker, an old man, came over to me. “I’m sorry,” I shuddered. He patted my shoulder, “Don’t worry. This happens all the time in this room.”

Once I pulled myself together, I was able to understand his use of chiaroscuro, the light and shadow that had prompted my high school essay question. As I became an adult, I pursued Rembrandt van Rijn. When I was a college student, I fell in love with the little 1633 painting that seemed so out of character: The Storm on the Sea of Galilee. It was one of my go-to thrills when I would drop acid and explore the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum in Boston while tripping. Years later, when I was living abroad and heard that it had been stolen in 1990 (never to be found), I took it quite personally.

I have since seen many Rembrandt van Rijn exhibitions, including Rembrandt’s Amsterdam house from 1639 to 1656 and the major works exhibited in that city’s Rijksmuseum. Once in Germany I saw a collection of his etchings that blew my mind all over again. As a kid writing about this marvelous painter, I don’t think I quite understood that I wasn’t alone in my extreme admiration. I didn’t realize that millions of people wondered if the light in his paintings came from internal or external sources.

From Pioneer to Elder – Squeezing it all into one speech

Last year I was in my exquisite local Robbins Library where a staff member had put up historical information about Pride. I found that person, whose name is Rob, and introduced myself. I told him that I lived in Arlington and that I had been in on the ground floor of the women’s and gay liberation movements. Perhaps our library should consult its own members about the history they made and participated in. Moreover, perhaps the library should stock my books.

Rob agreed. So this year I wrapped up Robbins Library’s Pride month events with a presentation on June 28 called From Pioneer to Elder. The problem was located in the subtitle: “One Arlington Woman's Journey from the Birth of Boston's Gay Liberation to LGBTQ Elder Activism Today.” How could I possibly fit in the birth of the movement, the present concerns of us aging pioneers, and my writing all in about 75 minutes?

Accompanying the public speaking of most writers is a desire to read from their work and to sell books. Combined with the demands of a double-sided topic, I found myself raveling and unraveling the complex threads for two weeks in an attempt to construct a presentation that met the plethora of promises in that subtitle. I did it by cutting out almost entirely the history of the establishment of Boston’s women’s liberation movement – which had prepared us for all things gender and sexuality related – and which was by far the most earthshaking revelation of my life.

Since it was a Pride event, I stuck to the founding of gay liberation – actually mostly lesbian liberation about which I can speak with authority – and jumped to the particular needs and issues of LGBTQ elders. I read relevant paragraphs from both Lillian’s Last Affair and Lillian in Love and sold a lot of books. I even snuck in a couple of my funnier 100-word stories.

But to begin, I had to thank the rainbow assortment of attendees. Rob had told me that these events usually drew between 6 and 15 people. That seemed miniscule to me so I did my own publicity and the folks I know really responded – 49 of them arrived! Here are the broad categories of what was a very mixed crowd – from ages 21 to 82, from life-long activists to people for whom this was their first political talk:

• Good friends, a few of whom have heard me speak and talk repeatedly, turned up nonetheless, one driving from across the State.
• A half-dozen dancers from my West Coast Swing community – which is mostly young and straight and white – came as well. The WCS scene is doggedly apolitical. There are no consequences, for example, for the dickhead who turns up in tRump t-shirts – people seem to dance with him quite contentedly. And I’m sure he’s not alone in his right-wing stance – although he is the most demonstrative. The dancers who came to my event, though, are the sweetest and most generous on the scene.
• Several members of the queer country and ballroom dance community arrived, some of whom I’ve known since the early 90s.
• People from my chiropractor’s office, Chirocare, were there, which was a treat. They are the folks who keep me dancing.
• Lots of other lesbian and gay elder activists cheered me on, even though a number of them have heard me speak and read before. They get my jokes and react with good-natured empathy to my take on aging.
• Several other pioneers represented, including Mark Heumann, from the group of Radical Faeries that joined with my Stick-it-in-the-Wall Collective in 1970 to put out one of the very first gay publications – Lavender Vision; and Marsha Gerstein, a self-defense student of mine back in the 60s. Both of them are active today in the LGBTQ elder community, running the Rainbow Lifelong Learning Institute.
• And there were a number strangers who came because they support events at Robbins Library. Funny enough, I randomly sat next to one of them on the subway two days later on the way back from the downtown demonstration against tRump’s immigration policy.

Because it was such a talk-heavy event, I decided to do a PowerPoint showing my changing hairstyles (not changed very much) and fashion (not changed very much) over the decades. I’ve included some of those images here. And I learned something after about 25 years away from PowerPoint: PowerPoint today is a gazillion times easier than it was when it first came out.

It was exhilarating to have a break from the news, from the growing fascism, from the cesspool that our country has become. It was only part of one evening, but I felt surrounded by “fellow travelers” and that was a balm. I had warned the audience at the very beginning that I do “a shitload of swearing,” and now that Pride Month is over and soon our democracy will be as well, I can only mourn and organize.

Parsimonious Corporations at Pride

The last couple of years I have hung out the windows of the Pride trolley provided for LGBTQ elders, waving at all those lining the streets of the Pride route. But this year my heroic friend, Bren, schlepped two luxurious beach chairs and we set ourselves up in front of the Arlington Street Church with a gang of friends, a bag of bagels and cream cheese, and two plums, and watched the March go by. Yes, yes, I know it is now called a Parade, but indulge me and my memories of hard-fought, dangerous streets.

In the early years – and I was marching from the start – these were protest marches, in-your-face declarations of “out”ness that had never been seen. The contingents were political, mostly based on identity politics or group projects, but all the marchers were brave queers, with perhaps an ally here and there.

Now the bulk of groups seem to be contingents of employees of big and little corporations and of houses of worship. I know this has been going on for long time, but at least in past years we got a bit of branded swag out of their presence – whether it was chapstick or packets of sunscreen or post-its or funny hats or socks or something, for gawd’s sake. Now the swag has dried up. Should there not be a requirement that if you’re advertising at my March, I get something sweet in exchange?

Watching this capitalist cavalcade tossing out, at the most, cheap Mardi Gras beads, (but the majority only passed out steaming heaps of nothing), moved me to exercise my vocal chords from the comfort of my beach chair.

• When Staples went by, I screamed: Throw me a ream of paper!
• When Comcast rolled by, I screamed: Send me lower bills!
• When some Jewish group carrying Israeli flags went by, I yelled: Give me some justice for Palestinians!
• When a church group went by, I cried: Toss me a piece of heaven!
• When Citizen’s Bank came by, I hollered: Donate $1,000!
• When Delta went by, I screamed: Give me more leg room!

But when TJX passed me, I yelled: Thanks for the lovely shopping bag!

Mother’s Day: Don’t Assume

I had a nasty mother, dead a decade now, and I didn’t want to celebrate her then or now. I myself had no maternal longings, and while I am Uncle to a few youngsters (well, if 30s/40s is still a youngster), I’ve never been mother to anyone. I never found blood to be thicker than water, to say the least. All the ecstatic glorification of the very concept of "motherhood" is grating – and a way to define women by their reproductive status.

Anyway, we all know that mothering is a hard job and often unpaid, but it's easy to sign up for it. So easy that many get the job by "accident." In fact, 45%-50% (depending on which study you look at) of all US pregnancies are unplanned. Accidents!

If you are lucky enough to have yourself a loving, honest, non-violent mother who is still alive, well good on ya. But let us not extrapolate that into some kind of generalization the way Hallmark has led us to do. Some mothers have died, some are locked up, some are estranged, some are aloof, some are hateful, some need to be cared for 24/7. The combination of “Happy” and “Mother” does not resonate for many, many folks, so don’t assume.

Resisting the Assault on America – Part II

Yesterday, I was the MC for a panel I had put together over several months for Boston OLOC (Old Lesbians Organizing for Change). It was the second annual panel I’ve done entitled “Resisting the Assault on America.” The goal was to identify the attacks on America by the tRump’s administration and the ways in which people are resisting. The panel included labor organizer Jenn Doe, of SEIU Local 509; disability rights activist Colleen Flanagan, Executive Director at Disability Action for America; ACLU’s Board member Holly Gunner; GLAD’s LGBTQ family law expert Polly Crozier; and Nancy Kelly, the manager of the Immigration Unit of the Greater Boston Legal Services. The speakers were brilliant. About 50 people attended.

To start the event, I gave an overview of tRump’s assault on us as I see it. As I wrote my presentation, the flood of attacks overtook my page and it became much longer than I intended. And there was so much more I could have included. Here is what I said:

Good afternoon, friends, and thank you for coming.

When we conducted the first panel on Resisting the Assault on America a year ago, our heads were exploding at the potential reality of life under tRump. He had started his assault from the moment of declaring his candidacy with his vile attack on Mexicans and the slanders he concocted about immigrants. It is a year later and that nightmare has turned into the soundtrack of our real, day-to-day lives. The nightmare has become quicksand, and we have yet to figure out how to save ourselves.

No longer are the deceitful spewings about foreigners just nasty rhetoric – they are now devouring the heart of our domestic and foreign policies. Americans are being deported in cruel ways and in massive numbers, no matter how long they’ve been here or whether they’ve served the US military or have provided social glue in an American community.

Our inflated prison populations are filling the pockets of the owners of privatized prisons, organizations that have contracts which demand from the criminal injustice system high rates of occupancy. Capitalist criminals run the government, while petty thieves and innocent people, largely from communities of color, feed the voracious prison machine. So many women, LGBTQs, and people of color in general are brutally and often unfairly caged.

Our education system is being stripped of all that makes it effective and accessible and humane, while charter and private schools are getting a boost, so as to further entrench white privilege. Teachers are striking all over the country, while the government talks about providing guns, not books, to schools.

It’s pretty freaky to watch our rights as lesbians being threatened by an Administration of homophobes and misogynists. Misogynistic legislators and cabinet dicks force tax payers to cough up untold obscene amounts of money to pay off women they have abused or used. The President is into grabbing pussys; the Vice President won’t sit down with a woman without his wife present – and I don’t know which thing is more repulsive.

Hypocrisy seems to be a key Resume attribute for this Administration in which reproductive rights are teetering on the edge of elimination. The holier-than-thou Fundamentalist Christians call for insane punishments for women who have abortions. Even birth control is under attack. They want to prevent same-sex couples from marrying or adopting. Those same holy men are too often found to have raped young girls, or cruised other guys in public toilets, or cheated on their wives. tRump is their biggest support: Just look at Roy Moore, at the neo-Nazis, at the overseas dictators: they are tRump’s real lovers.

The police are being sold military equipment and seem to have permission to freely kill people of color, unarmed citizens going about their lives. They suffer virtually no consequences for these murders. The very act of protesting – the heart of American democracy – is under attack. Republican-dominated states across the country are pushing laws that criminalize street demonstrations – except, it seems, when they are neo-Nazis marching, rioting, or burning swastikas. One Washington Post headline announced: “Sessions greenlights police to seize cash, property from people suspected of crimes but not charged.” Jeff Sessions has written a memo calling for the death sentence for drug dealers, probably including legal marijuana business owners. The FBI, CIA, and State Department are all in a jumble, while ICE – the anti-immigration militia – runs wild like a gestapo. 

Our free press is no longer free, as the right-wing Sinclair group is steadily buying up local news outlets across the country. The President hate-tweets all mainstream press except for Fox, while the major media players do not admit to their part in getting him elected and in profiting off his lies, while ignoring other kinds of news.

The President has spent 111 days at his own golf courses since he was elected – fully 22% of his time! There he rules by tweet, vomiting out lies and distortions that he buys wholesale from Fox and Friends. He hates Republican and Democratic legislators alike, nonetheless eliciting from both an odd level of compliance. We are all upset, but with his smoke screens, his hysteria, and his viciousness, he has used the simpering Republican majority and his Executive Orders to destroy the life we hoped for. We are exhausted by the barrage.

Meanwhile, the programs that keep us human, that mandate that we look after each other, that we provide support and care for those who need it – and most of us will need it at some point in our lives – those programs are under severe attack. Medicaid, Medicare, Social Security, health care, home care, Meals on Wheels, school meals, public schools, workplace safety, affirmative action, the Veterans Administration, the American Disabilities Act, and so much more – these are the very programs that make us a civil society. Our parks are being sold for private oil exploration. He has removed us from the Paris Accords on the environment. He is erasing all the regulations that affect big business’s ability to pollute our country.

Let’s talk money. The stock market is twitching every which way. The 1% own half of the world’s wealth – that is, they have the same wealth as 3.5 Billion humans – and that’s still not enough for tRump’s gang of crooks. Although it’s not new to the tRump era, race plays a big role in class, and this Administration is straight-up racist. This disparity is local too. According to the Globe, “The median net worth for non-immigrant African-American households in the Greater Boston region is $8.”

For those of us who are in the final third or quarter of our lives, we fear that our lifelong plans are going to be derailed – and in many ways they already have been. We did not expect – after all we contributed to justice movements – to watch fascism creep over this land. We’re out on the streets with protest placards that say, “I can’t believe I’m still protesting this shit” – and it is very scary.

But there is resistance. The Women’s March, organized mostly by young women, drew an immediate line in the sand. They were inspired by the young lesbians who had earlier founded Black Lives Matter, a new type of resistance with a broad explicit inclusion of LGBTQ folks. Teams of law students and lawyers raced to the airports when tRump tried to ban Muslims. The Dreamers who risk losing everything are on the streets protesting the elimination of DACA and the dire restrictive policies against immigrants, not the least the horrific for-profit detention camps. I follow the creative NY group: Gays Against Guns (GAG)! Thousands of women are running for office, pissed off at what this government is trying to do to us. And the #MeToo movement, founded by a Black woman, was embraced by women of every age and race. The elementary and high school youth are raising a powerful voice about gun violence. They’ve already made the leap from school attacks to general community danger from guns, and I hope their next leap will be to create a peace movement against the horrid violence the US military either perpetrates or supports around the world. So much of the world is suffering. And so many are fighting back.

Today OLOC is honored to host this panel of five amazing women to talk in depth about some of these issues. Thanks so much to everyone for coming and for all that you do.

Thanks too to Bren Cole for the photos.